We all do the following things.

Yet, common courtesy says to NOT do them into the late hours of the evening or your spouse might freaking lose it.  Or you risk becoming THAT neighbor. An even simpler reason?  You just shouldn’t.

I’m speaking from personal experience.  Yes, I love my husband and yes, I told him to cut it out for the love of all things Holy.  He looked at me in disbelief.  Deep down he knows I’m right, but won’t admit it.

See if you do the following things AFTER 9 PM.  Then, stop.  Please, just STOP.

1)  Mow the lawn.  Not just mow, but crank up the mower AFTER 9 pm.   Last week, I marched out to the backyard to inform my lawn-obsessed husband that he was mowing at 9:50 pm.  IN THE DARK.  While people sleep.  He motioned that he couldn’t hear me because he was wearing earbuds.  Translation:  I’m using the earphones as an excuse to ignore you and hope you go away.  I stormed back inside mumbling to myself words that cannot be repeated.

2)  Vacuum.  Sweeping the floors is great, especially when I don’t have to do it, but vacuuming after 9 pm?  Annoying.  The kids are usually about to head to bed.  Case in point:  Just last night, I awoke at 12:05 AM, yes…in the morning…to kindly ask my sweet-sweeping husband why he was running the vacuum over the hardwood floors after midnight?  ‘Just let me finish the kitchen rug,’ he muttered.  I stood there with the same look on my face as when our then-5-year-old son came in from playing outside to ask for toilet paper.  We were expecting dinner guests, who would be arriving any moment.  And no, he hadn’t sneezed.  I was mortified.

3)  Drink two GINORMOUS vats of caffeinated Diet Mountain Dew, then complain the next morning that you didn’t sleep well.  Not feeling a whole lot of empathy here.  Who drinks soda, 2 enormous styrofoam cups of soda, at 10 pm?  My hubby.  It’s his thing, Starbucks is mine.  Yet, I don’t chug it right up until the minute I lay my head on the pillow.  Sort of defeats the very purpose, though I’ve not been successful in convincing my lawn-cutting, floor-obsessed caffeine-craving hubby of this reasonable fact.  I’ll keep trying.

greg bl wh

4)  Watch tv in the bed where your spouse is currently asleep.  We all have different bedtime routines.  I certainly don’t expect my husband to call it a night when I do since he doesn’t get up at 3 am.  Seems to make perfect sense to not come to bed and flip through the channels while I’m deep in REM sleep, right?  Nothing better than waking to the glare of bright lights and the faint sound of a woman griping at the store owner on Hardcore Pawn.  If I can tiptoe around every morning before work, dress in the dark and arrive at the studio in two different shoes, he can watch tv downstairs.  Of course, I say that with the utmost love. XO

5)  Wake your spouse.  Worse, wake your sleeping spouse after 9 PM to tell them the SCORE in a game.  Love my husband, but WHO CARES?  I get it, living in a home with two boys and a husband means I better like sports or at least fake interest.  We have a garage full of equipment and I spend most weekends sitting on bleachers, yelling at refs and shouting encouraging words to my kids.  Yet, I can wait till morning to find out who won the game. Here’s how that conversation went down:

Him:  Hey, you awake?  Me:  Huh?  Him:  The Colts won! Me:  Why are you telling me this?  Him:  I thought you would want to know.  Me:  No.  No, I did not.  Not at midnight when my alarm goes off at 3 am.  Him:  Well, THAT was rude.

He was disappointed with my reaction and I recall thinking, ‘Who DOES that?’  Lesson learned.  Let the wifey sleep if you know what’s good for you.  Or if you want dinner.

Of course, this isn’t the FIRST time my husband felt the need to wake me with irrelevant info.  You won’t believe his reason for doing it then.  Read about it HERE.

And that’s 5. (Love my husband, just some life observations.)

photo credit: Dricker94 via photopin cc