Life has been challenging for you in recent months, so I’m writing this letter to file away and let you read when you are older.
Your father and I love watching you from afar, like when you’re sleeping and your dad says, ‘I’ve never seen a sweeter face.’ By day, you are a bouncing spirit that melts my heart, and I admire your zest and the lens through which you see this ever-changing world. You grow bored with the ordinary, and I soak up your thoughts as you move from room to room, collecting various items to create your next character for imaginary play.
The stage is yours. Maybe a wrestler. Sometimes a karate guy. And always a baseball player.
You have no idea how I would love to trade places with you for one day, even one hour, to live life through an innocence that knows no boundaries and only wants to ‘be.’ A racing mind that believes everything is possible, even if it’s growing dark and time for bed, a trait that will certainly bring you success in later years.
I watch you enter a room, scanning the people to anticipate the mood, as you bashfully smile when we lock eyes. It’s my favorite smile in the world, the one where your lips don’t part and just the corners turn up, the one you give both your dad and I each time we call your name, the one that make’s life’s worries disappear in that very moment.
It’s my sunshine.
I have fond memories of our Tuesday and Thursday afternoons the past three months spent cuddling on the couch, moments you affectionately dubbed being ‘snuggle-dippers,’ a combination of snuggling and your favorite fruit snack from McDonalds. Those days were homeruns for me, as life stood still for you and I. Sort of our way of carving time out of the chaos.
You have many gifts, a memory I could only dream of, and a humor that keeps us all in stitches, including your older brother who giggles as you dance like McJagger in the middle of the bowling alley without a care of who may be watching. A carefree soul who knows no strangers, and has costumes already selected for the next three Halloweens.
I am proud of you, Hayden. And I will help you navigate the road ahead.
Mom (AKA ‘Snuggle-dipper’)