For the record, Paula Deen did awesome at the Um game. She talked 30 seconds about argyle, without saying Um, Uh, or having any long pauses.

And then I wiped out at the grocery store.

And it sooooo wasn’t pretty. It happened after I left work, and not one to shy away from clumsiness, I did my faceplant right in front of the customer service desk at Marsh. Because what’s a fall without an audience, right? Stupid wet floors. I nearly took out an 80-year-old woman who had carefully applied fire-red lipstick before arriving, and bless her heart, she helped me up. I was soon met by a store manager asking me to fill out a report, but I declined, despite the purple bruise that I was already sporting on my wrist.

I can’t imagine filling out a report, since the last thing I want is to have the entire incident documented for all to see. What exactly would it say?

‘Clumsy blonde wipes out trying to get a cart.

Instead, I pulled myself up, swallowed my pride, and called my husband, who wasn’t surprised and enjoyed some laughter at my expense.

Eventful day, without question.