My 8-year-old, eating an ice cream sundae at Applebees with my Grandmother: Ahhhh, this is the good life.

My 4-year-old, hitting me in the chest with a football during a game of toss: Whoa, right in the bosom!

My youngest, after older brother Griffin tells me he wants to have his best buddy, Robby, come over: Hey, I thought I was your best buddy!

Youngest: How come I can’t be in charge?

My oldest, after telling him we’d be going to church in the morning: Good, they have the BEST doughnuts!

After watching a Netflix commercial, my 4-year-old telling someone: Take the drama out, would ya?

Someone I know who shall remain nameless: I’m heading to Weight Watchers, just as soon as I finish this ice cream cone.

Greeting my oldest in my pj’s following my nap, as he came home from school: Mom, did you even go to work today?