7-year-old: Can Hayden and I have some gum, Mom?

Me: No, not anymore today. You and your brother had some earlier.

7-year-old: But, Mom…it’s sugar-free, you know.

Me: Yeah, I know.

7-year-old: Soooo, can we?

Me: Mom said no. Listen, you two are lucky. When I was little, I didn’t get gum all the time.

7-year-old: You didn’t?

Me: Nope.

7-year-old: You mean it wasn’t invented?