It’s just not a day at Grandma’s if you don’t stop by Weenee World.

Yes, the place really exists. I’m off work this week, and took the boys to visit my 85-year-old Grandmother who has more energy than a toddler gripping a bottle of Red Bull. I love Grandma. She’s feisty and independent, and doesn’t beat around the bush. Translation: She’s opinionated, which means I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

After arriving, we dined at Pizza King, where she handed the boys money for the Jukebox, and I found myself explaining that, no…they DON’T have the Jonas Brothers, but look!…they have the Statler Brothers! Who’s that? my four-year-old asked. He was about as impressed as I was when my husband suggested we get that big screen tv two days before the Superbowl.

Next, we drove to feed the ducks at the pond, where Grams hopped out of the car and just the mere sight of a bread bag resulted in an entourage of geese, not exactly the cute little white ducks I was hoping for, which began swarming her while annoyingly honking or whatever it is you call that noise. Don’t those things attack? Grandma didn’t seem to care, letting them eat from her hands, no less. Me and the boys? We threw chunks of bread from the car. Heck, we aren’t dumb. Love ya, Granny, but it’s every man for himself.

Our next stop? Weenee World. The name alone is enough to make me giggle, and the boys repeated it over and over for the next hour. I wasn’t sure what to think when Grandma suggested we stop there for ice cream. I took the pic above because I knew no one would believe it. The kids were in heaven, and I was in shock. The employees wear rainbow-colored beanies on their heads and you can buy one to take home, if you dare. Note to those reading this: I didn’t.

Heading home, we spotted a man hitchhiking. I pointed him out, and my youngest asked me, ‘Hitchhiker, what’s that mean?’ So I was like, ‘It’s when someone needs a ride and puts their thumb in the air, but I don’t want you doing that, because you shouldn’t get in cars with strangers.’ And my grandmother decided to take it one step further, saying ‘Because when you get in cars with strangers, they could bop you on the head, steal your money, then roll you down a hill and leave you in a ditch.’ Uhhhhhh…he’s four. Let’s not scare the kid.

We learned a lot during our visit.

Starting with…The Statler Brothers, but they weren’t all really brothers, and that it’s best to feed the geese from your car just to be safe, Weenee World has good ice cream and not-so-stylish beanies, and don’t hitchhike or you’ll get bopped on the head.

And that’s it.

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