Just got back from an attempt at a peaceful walk. However, it was cut short.
I first stopped at the local Starbucks for the largest nonfat white mocha that I could buy, figuring it would end my hammer-like migraine and I could sip it while strolling down a popular nearby walkway. Coffee in hand, I parked my car and began walking. Within minutes, a bee began buzzing my head. Assuming I could swat it away, I did just that, only to have it return within seconds. So I swatted again. And again. Lucky for me, other walkers and runners were visible, but not within hearing distance, so I decided a verbal smackdown would do this bee some good.
‘Get away,’ I shouted. ‘Cut it out,’ I said with conviction. The bee wasn’t listening. At this point, I felt silly for talking to an insect, the same silly feeling I had when I told the repairman on the phone ‘Love you’ as I hung up.
There I was, ducking to avoid the bee, hopping in the left walk pathway, then back to the right, and repeating the pattern. Killer bee wouldn’t budge. I had no choice but to put a tight grip on my coffee cup and pick up the pace. Slowly at first, then faster…faster…all the while thinking, ‘Boy, don’t I look stupid’ running with a cup of coffee, yet the bee was up for the challenge.
At this point, I wanted to kick some bee behind.
Yes, I get that the bee wanted my coffee, who knew bees liked white mochas?, but I wasn’t about to ditch my beloved drink. Forget walking with a can of mace for safety, a can of Raid would have provided a better defense. I eventually realized the bee would win this battle, did an about-face and headed back to my car, falling in to the driver’s seat and laughing at the fact that I just raced a fuzzy bug with a stinger…
And it won.